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ABC
Guide to Courting
by
Jopex
A - Always
follow your girl wherever she goes. This
will show her your faithfulness and
unfaltering love. This will not work,
though, if she goes inside the comfort
room.
B - Bring her things. This is a must for
gentlemanly types.
C - Charm (pun intended) her with your
witty wits and mind-boggling remarks.
This is a sure fire-way to be closer to
her. By being friendly to her, she will
also be friendly to you.
D - Don’t fart when you’re with
her. In all the times you have to fart,
why does it have to be when you’re
with her? This will show her that you
respect her more than yourself. Also,
don’t call her "hoy" when
you want to talk to her.
E - Every woman has a price, even if it
means literally that.
F - Forget your old love mate.
G - Give her all that you own: your
money, your time, your life, everything.
H - Hold her hands when you say you love
her.
I - Instill in your heart that she’s
the only woman for you. Never ever love
two girls at a time.
J - Jopex da best, not!
K - Kiss her when the opportunity arises.
If she slaps you, don’t do it again.
L - Love her.
M - Money doesn’t matter.
N - Never tell her "trips" when
she asks you a serious question.
O - Opposites attract. Boys attract
girls, and girls attract boys.
P - Please, please think about what
you’re going to say to her first
before actually telling it to her.
Q - Question nothing about her past love
mates.
R - Real love is forever love.
S - Sweet things will always win her
heart.
T - Tolerate her bad manners.
U - Underestimate your time when
you’re with her.
V - Violate no law when with her.
W - Win her heat by showing your love and
affection.
X - X-amine your face and clothes first
before meeting her. This will delete all
turn-offs.
Y - Yelling is a no-no.
Z - Zip your pants always.
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Gungon squashes
canteen bench;
COOP wants to sue
by Dino del
Rosario
Recently,
Christian Vincent Gungon, Gu-ngon to his
friends, and the inventor of the famous
tamagungi, wrecked one of the long,
brown, beautiful, sturdy, fragrant,
artistic, unique benches in the canteen.
The bench had one of its leg loosely
connected and at that time, Lorenzo
Lorilla, Dale Iranon, Jun Saturay were
already sitting on the bench. But when
Gungi sat with them, the bench collapsed.
The whereabouts of Gungon is still
unknown. If anyone has information please
contact the Bets Squad at 932-4948.
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Betsman and Robets filming
stalled
by
Patrick Estorninos
Due to lack of time and
funds, the making of the sure blockbuster hit Betsman and
Robets has been indefinitely postponed. Filming was
supposed to start last August 15, right after the 1st
Periodical Exams, at Tagaytay, but most of the cast was
indisposed at that time. According to an inside source,
filming will start during the semestral break, if there
is, or during Christmas vacation.
The film topbills Josef Solidum as Betsman, Dale Iranon
as Robets, Marvin Abing as Mr. Abs, Dino del Rosario as
Betsguin, Christi de Guzman as Catwoman, Rebecca Ricalde
as Poison Ibets, Kartini Reyes as Betsgirl, Lorenzo
Lorilla as Two-Face, and Bodie Salas as Bene. The film is
directed by Lorenzo Lorilla and is produced by Tech®
Productions headed by Rebecca Ricalde and Kartini Reyes.
Solidum engaged with Silverstone
According to a very
reliable source, our very own President Solidum is said
to have been engaged with Alicia Silverstone. Reporters
have been on scene when Solidum has allegedly gave Alicia
an engagement ring worth nearly a million dollars. Both
Solidum and Silverstone planned to be married sometime on
June next year. Silverstone said, ”I love Josef, and
will love him forever… He is a man of great stature
with exceeding cuteness that I can see only in him.”
With dashing good looks and that irresistible smile,
Alicia can never go wrong with picking Josef Solidum as
the right man.
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