ERAP JOKES
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How is a San Miguel beer bottle
and Erap alike?
They are both empty from the neck
up.--***--
How
do you confuse Erap?
Stick him in a round room and
tell him to sit in the corner.
--***--
Why
did Erap stare at a can of frozen
orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
--***--
Why
was Erap proud for finishing a
puzzle in only six months?
The box said "2 to 4
years!"
--***--
Why
does Erap always smile during
lightning storms?
He thinks his picture is being
taken.
--***--
How
can you tell when Erap sends you
a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
--***--
How
can you tell if Erap has been
using your computer?
There are white-out(snowpake) all
over the monitor.
--***--
How
do you get Erap on the roof?
Tell him the drinks are on the
house.
--***--
Why
did Erap get fired from his job
at the M & M’s factory?
He kept throwing out the W.
--***--
Erap,
who is tired of being thought of
as dumb, disguised himself with
beard and sunglasses. To prove
his point, he goes to a sheep
ranch and asks the sheep herder
if he can guess the number of
sheep in his herd, can he have
one. The herder says "Go
ahead". He looks at the herd
and says, "352 sheep".
The sheep herder is amazed and
said to pick any sheep he wanted.
As Erap is ready to leave the
sheep herder says "If I can
guess who you are, can I have my
dog back"?
--***--
If
Erap and Cory are tossed off a
building, who hits the ground
first?
Cory...Erap has to stop to ask
for directions.
--***--
What
did Erap do when he heard that
90% of accidents occur around the
home?
He moved.
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CHARMY JOKES
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Ma’am X:
“Marvin, your test
paper’s answers are exactly
the same as Crista’s. Even
the mispelled words are the same.
How do you explain that?”
Marvin: “I used her
ballpen!”
--***--
Prof.: “You at the back of
this room, what are the grounds
for the proclamation of Martial
Law?”
Young Man: “I don’t
know, sir”
Prof.: “ You don’t know
,eh? Well, let’s try
something else. Who was
considered the sublime
paralytic?”
Young Man: "I don’t
know."
Prof.: "Well then, can you
tell me what the Olympic rings
stand for?"
Young Man: "I don’t
know."
Prof.: "You don’t! I
assigned these thing last Friday.
What were you doing last
night?"
Young Man: "I was out
drinking beer with some
friends."
Prof.: "You were! How then
do you expect to pass this
subject?"
Young Man: "Well, I
don’t, sir. You see, I just
came in to get the broom and the
garbage can!"--***--
Mr.
Garedillas asked Jopex, "how
far were you from the correct
answer?"
"Only two seats, sir!",
came the reply.
--***--
Teacher
Joy: "You at the back - name
two pronouns."
Little Carlo: "Who?
Me?"
--***--
Annoyed
teacher to student who was thirty
minutes late: "You should
have been here at 7:30"
Student: "Why, sir, what
happened?"
--***--
Tamods:
"There’s twenty pesos
gone from my cabinet, Bing. You
and I were the only people who
had keys to that cabinet."
Bing: "Well, suppose we each
pay ten pesos and say no more
about it."
--***--
Three
gentlemen - an American, a
Japanese, and a Filipino were
discussing about the life span of
a man. Each is insisting to have
the longest life span.
The American said, "In
America, the life span of man
starts from birth to death."
The Japanese replied, "Hah!
In Japan it is from womb to
tomb."
"Hold it!" interrupted
the Filipino, "In the
Philippines, the life span is
from erection to
resurrection!"
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Your
Monthly Horoscope
Ang Mahiwagang Bola ni Jopex
Aries
Mar.21-Apr.20
Mood: Bad trip ka kasi walang nagpakopya
sa ‘yo sa Ateneo Entrance Exam.
Love: Mayroong secret admirer kang D.O.M.
Life: Walang kwenta.
Lucky # : log 989989E-732
Taurus
Apr.21-May 20
Mood: Trips mong mag-trips
Love: Trips mong mag-trips
Life: Trips mong mag-trips
Lucky # : 34!+(27!/26!)
Cancer
Jun.22-Jul.22
Mood: Mabubusog ka sa Kare-kare ng
canteen. Dahil dito, tawag sa ‘yo ay
"The Kare-kare Man from Next
Door".
Love: Maiinlove ka kay "The
Kare-kare Woman from the Other Next
Door".
Life: Uubusin mo ang kare-kare ng
canteen.
Lucky # : < 1
Leo
Jul.23-Aug.22
Mood: Madidiskubre mong may kulugong
tumutubo sa singit ng daliri ng iyong
paa.
Love: Rereypin ka ng isang gwapo at
machong bading habang nag-sleep-over ka
sa inyong kapitbahay. Ito’y
magugustuhan mo.
Life: Magiging bading ka na rin.
Lucky # : 69
Virgo
Aug23-Sep.22
Mood: Secret
Love: Secret din!
Life: Obvious ba, secret din!
Lucky # : Secret Number
Libra
Sept.23-Oct.23
Mood: Ika’y magagalit sa katabi
mo sa iyong klase. Kukunin niya ang iyong
Parker bolpen at hindi na ibabalik.
Love: May patay-na-patay sa iyong isang
janitor. Initials ay T.H.
Life: Mananaginip kang nakalbo ka.
Pagising mo, totoo pala.
Lucky # : 3697.26
Scorpio
Oct.24-Nov.22
Mood: Mangigiyak ka sa tuwa dahil
nawala na ang kulugo sa singit ng iyong
daliri sa paa.
Love: Malalaman mong totoong-totoo ang
pag-ibig sa iyo ng iyong minamahal.
Life: Mauubos ang iyong pera sa
kaka-bigay sa mga nangungutang sa
‘yo.
Lucky # : 2.33 x 10-7
Sagittarius
Nov.23-Dec.21
Mood: Magiging napakaswerte mo sa
lahat ng iyong gagawin.
Love: Sa wakas, magkakasyota ka na rin na
super kavibes mo. Tapos, marami pang
ibang nagkakagusto sa ‘yo, pero alam
mo naman, kailangan stick to one lang.
Life: Magiging napakasaya ng iyong buhay
dahil sa mga swerteng nadatnan mo.
Lucky # : (a2 + b2)/(a3 - b3)
Capricorn
Dec.22-Jan.20
Mood: Wala kang mood. Manhid ka, eh.
Love: Since Manhid ka, wala ka na ring
love.
Life: Since wala kang love, walang kwenta
ang life mo.
Lucky # : Wala
Aquarius
Jan.21-Feb.18
Mood: Magiging napakasensitibo mo,
kahit may langaw lang na dumapo sa
‘yo, galit-na-galit ka na.
Love: Sa sobrang galit mo dahil sa
langaw, maghihiwalay na kayo ng iyong ka
M.U.
Life: Hassle pare, pero okay lang, ikaw
lang naman, eh, hindi naman ako.
Lucky # : -5
Pisces
Feb.19-Mar.20
Mood: Magiging napakalonely mo.
Iniiwasan mo na lahat ng iyong mga
kaibigan.
Love: Asa pa!
Life: Wala kang hinaharap. In short,
flat-chested ka.
Lucky # : 0.71 %
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